I dont understand life sometimes... Alot of the time...
Im feeling a little numb at the moment.
On Monday night 19th / Tuesday Morning 20th Melanie left...
I dont know what im feeling, which is really annoying. And to top it off its really arkward and sad.
Mum's first partner / Love of her life was Lenny. Lenny had a sister names Anita. Mum and Anita were good friends.
Mum and Lenny broke up and later mum met my Dad. Mum and Anita were still friends and fell pregnant at the same time.
Mum with Me, Anita with Melanie. We are the same age. Our mums grew up together and i for some part grew up with Melanie.
Mum and Dad split up, Dad and Anita dated later on in life (DRAMA i know)... Dad lived with Anita and Melanie and i stayed with them on the holidays..
Melanie left the other night, we dont know if it was her choice yet... But it looks that way.
Im sad for her being gone. But i am more sad for My mum and her mum.
A Parent should never have to watch their child leave... So i feel so much for Anita.
But i feel so much for my mum, not only does she love Anita and Melanie, She is over come with fear of what if it was Me...
What if she lost me and then there is the guilt for thinking that way.
I havent really accepted it yet. I know that i am numb.
I pray that Melanie just drifted in her sleep, I hope she had a great day and her last thoughts were happy, loved and safe.
I would give so much for it to be that way because i wouldnt want anyone to leave, Alone, sad and upset.
Time will tell.
I just dont understand all he spanners that are thrown into the works latly......
*Shrugs*
XOXO
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